In the Navy:Official Disapproval,Sensitivity in Bereavement.

In the Catholic Church, many people will know that in spite of official disapproval from on high, and outright hostility by some individuals in the church, very often parishes on the ground can be truly welcoming and accepting, with acceptance and full inclusion from both parishioners and parish priests. That was certainly my experience at Holy Trinity Parish, Braamfontein, Johannesburg -and is the experience of many others at countless parishes around the world.

A story from Chicago Sun Times demonstrates that this disconnect between official disapproval and practical warmth on the ground also applies in other formally homophobic institutions, in this instance the US marines. In spite of the policy of DADT which was still in force last June, and notwithstanding the vicious persecution that some gay servicemen experienced under that policy, the widowed husband of one Marine, John Fliszar,  found exceptional co-operation from the Naval Academy officials when he approached them for help in executing the dead man's wish to have his ashes  interred in the Naval Academy.

I enjoyed imagining the confused expressions of these officials when they were first approached by the widowed husband, Mark Ketterson:

The memorial coordinator asked about his relationship to the deceased. Ketterson said that John Fliszar was his husband.

“They were always polite, but there was this moment of hesitation,” Ketterson recalled. “They said they’re going to need something in writing from a blood relative. They asked, ‘Are you listed on the death certificate?’ ‘Do you have a marriage license?’ ”

Hawaii Civil Unions Approved; Marriage Equality Update

Three significant news items yesterday illustrated the continuing momentum towards marriage and family equality.

In Hawaii, the state senate has now given final approval to civil unions for same sex couples. All that is now required is for the Gobvernor to add his signature, which he has promised he will do, adding to the number which now offer marriage equality or near equality at state level. More will follow.

In Baltimore, another state senator has stepped off the fence, and announced he will vote in favour of the marriage bill next week. This makes at least 24 votes (and possibly 25) in favour, which will be enough for approval. Passage in the lower house and the governor's signature should follow.

In Delaware, a new group (Equality Delaware) has been formed to push for civil unions, and has announced sponsors for a bill to be introduced to the legislature later this year. (A recent opinion poll showed that a plurality of Delaware voters support full marriage. This would suggest that the early prospects for the more cautious proposal of civil unions must be good).

For the record, here is the current rundown by state, for the US a.nd internationally.

Hawaii House Approves Civil Unions, & Other Marriage Equality Updates.

The Hawaii State House yesterday approved a civil unions bill by a comfortable margin. As the Senate has previously passed the measure, all that is now requited is some tinkering to reconcile the minor differences in the two versions, before it is presented to Governor Abercrombie, who has promised that he will sign it.  Hawaii will then join Illinois as the second US state to approve civil unions this year.

Meanwhile both Maryland and Rhode Island have been holding hearings on bills to provide state recognition for full marriage equality. With powerful voices against, including that of the institutional Catholic Church, it is too early to predict the final outcome. I am encouraged, however, by a few straws in the wind.

New York Catholics Support Gay Marriage

Barbara Bush's public support for gay marriage has garnered a lot of press attention over the past week. Reporting on this the Washington Post has drawn my attention to another finding that should have drawn more attention. Alongside the number of Republican politicians and Evangelical Christians who are breaking ranks with their traditional opposition and starting to support equality, the majority of US (and European) Catholics have already parted company with their bishops on the matter. This has been demonstrated in several polls in recent years, at national level, and in state level polls, as in Rhode Island.

When I read and reported on the recent finding of the Quinnipiac poll that a majority of New Yorkers now support full legal recognition of same sex marriages, I neglected to follow through on my usual practice of checking the cross-tabs for a breakdown by religion. This was a mistake. (In mitigation, I plead that I was under intense pressure  for time last week). As the Washington Post has now observed, the national pattern is found in New York, too.  An absolute majority of New York Catholics support full marriage (not simply civil unions). As the paper's report notes in its concluding remark, "Republican and Catholic leaders may find themselves increasingly out of touch with the rhythm and blues that are moving their constituents and congregants on these issues".

For how much longer can bishops, in the US or elsewhere, get away with claiming to speak for "Catholics" on such matters (or, in the Philippines), it is patently obvious that they are not speaking of the real beliefs or real Catholics, but only for Vatican doctrine and the rule book Catholics who would prefer to get their ideas from a moral manual, without personal thought or reflection?

Seeking Gay Parents, Dispels Myths

A Welsh children's charity, Barnardo's,  is actively seeking gay and lesbian prospective parents, in yet another demonstration that those in the know, the professional experts working in the field, recognize that parenting ability has nothing at all to do with gender or sexual orientation.   What matters far more, is the quality of love and the emotional stability of the home. Abundant scientific research has amassed reams of evidence, frequently disseminated by the professionals, and other agencies before this one have likewise made the same plea for more queer applicants - but the myths, freely promoted by ignorant Catholic spokesmen, still survive.

The resulting prejudice is one of the factors that discourages some potential prospective parents from applying. This is in direct conflict with the interests of the children, which the Church falsely claims to be promoting. The best interests of the children, the professionals know, lies in admitting the largest possible pool of applicants, irrespective of orientation, so that each child may be matched with the best possible parents. At present, there are an estimated 64,000 children in the care system in England: one quarter of whom will never find a family.  Excluding same-sex couples even from consideration as adoptive parents, as the Catholic bishops would like to do, cannot possibly improve the chances of that 25%, and could lead to some of the others being placed with parents who are possibly not necessarily the most suitable just the best suited heterosexuals.

Queer Families at Gay Pride, Rome

Fortunately, British law recognizes the facts, and does not allow agencies to practice discrimination. Now, we need to ensure that public opinion catches up with the facts, to eliminate the continued self-exclusion by some gay couples, who might otherwise to offer their help to children in real need. The tragedy here is that some Catholic agencies, rather than filling their obligation to do the best for the children, have simply stopped finding homes for children at all.

Civil Unions Now Imminent in Hawaii

The Hawaii state Senate yesterday approved civil unions legislation for the state. Approval by the state House, which last year passed similar legislation before it was vetoed by GOP Governor Lingle, is surely just a a formality. The new governor, Democrat Neil Abercrombie, has already promised to sign the legislation when (no longer if) it reaches his desk. Near-marriage, marriage in all but name, is on the way in Hawaii.

In my mind, only three questions remain:

• When will the new legislation take effect? How long will it be before Hawaii's same-sex couples will be able to tie the knot, and have their unions recognized by the state?
• Which will be the next state to follow suit?
• How long must we wait for "near-marriage" to  become full marriage equality, including the name?

From NECN:

Hawaii Senate approves same-sex civil unions

HONOLULU (AP) — The Hawaii Senate on Friday overwhelmingly approved civil unions for same-sex couples, a major step toward the proposal becoming law. 

The state Senate voted 19-6 for the bill, which now goes to the state House of Representatives, where a nearly identical measure passed last year before it was vetoed by then-Gov. Linda Lingle, a Republican.

Marriage Equality Gaining Ground in Maryland.

The movement to marriage equality continues to show progress in Maryland. As lawmakers in the Maryland House and Senate formally kicked off their push for gay marriage, a new poll has shown that for the first time, an absolute majority of Marylanders now support full marriage equality.

According to Annapolis-based pollster Gonzales Research, 51 percent of Maryland residents support gay marriage. Endorsements break down along party lines, with 65 percent of Democrats and 52 percent of independents favoring same-sex marriage, while only 24 percent of Republicans back the concept. The poll has a margin of error of plus or minus 3.5 percent.

-Hometown Annapolis.com

The steady growth in Maryland for acceptance of equality matches the trend nationally and internationally. Speaking of the US,

Tim Magrath, a lecturer in political science at Frostburg State University and a former congressional staffer, agrees that the national attitude toward same-sex marriage is changing.

"The polling data's been incredible, the numbers have completely turned around," said Magrath. "In the '90s when (President) Clinton first started talking about gays in the military, the approval rating was in the 30s, but now a vast majority of people support the idea of gays in the military."

"Public perception on marriage has been transformed in the last decade as well, and there's been a major transformation in public opinion," said Magrath.

The bill which is now being introduced will face strong opposition and a likely filibuster. Still, it has an excellent chance of being passed, after the mid-term elections saw an increased number of key supporters elected to the state legislature. Governor O'Malley has promised to sign the bill if it reaches his desk - but it will probably then face an attempt to force the issue into a voter referendum.

Related articles

• Marriage Equality Bill Introduced in Maryland House as New Poll Reveals Most Support It (towleroad.com)
• Marriage Equality Coming Closer in Maryland (itsaqueerworld.blogspot.com)
• In Maryland, a Majority Support Same-Sex Marriage (gayrights.change.org)
• Tomorrow Maryland Becomes The Next Battleground For Marriage Equality (lezgetreal.com)

Expert View on Gay Adoption: Beneficiaries are the Children.

Opponents of LGBT adoption regularly argue (correctly) that this is not a matter of gay/lesbian rights, but of the best interests of the children. Where they go wrong, is in making the false assumption that the best interests of the children involve excluding from consideration otherwise excellent potential parents who happen to have a homosexual orientation. At San Diego Gay and Lesbian News, Bryan Moore has a great interview with the adoption professional Adam Pertman, who sets corrects some common misrepresentations.

My favourite statement is his simple and direct response to the claims that LGBT people are somehow unfit for parenthood:

Those claims are made by people who are either uninformed or homophobic.

The important stuff though is not the one-line dismissal, but the substantive argument. Gay adoption is important, because it is in the best interests of the children.

The principle benefits are for children.

The fact is, there are lots of lesbian and gay people who want to give homes to children, so the real victims when that isn’t allowed to happen are the kids who wind up in temporary or group care or some other less advantageous situation. Yes, we should be working for equal rights for all, but the bottom line is, we’re here for the kids.

He takes care to note that "of course" LGBT equality is important, but later throws in important consideration, referring in passing to "qualified" potential parents. We as LGBT activists must always remember that no adult, gay, straight or trans, has any "right" to adopt, but only a right to be considered. All prospective parents are screened for a range of important considerations, and only those that meet the requirements may be approved. LGBT equality does not require an automatic right to adopt - simply that sexual orientation should not be seen as a reason to exclude candidate parents from further consideration.

Perhaps the most encouraging feature of his remarks is the observation that the numbers of openly gay or lesbian parents who are adopting is increasing steadily and rapidly. As the numbers increase, so the rest of the population becomes more familiar with family diversity - and in this case, familiarity breeds not contempt, but acceptance. Children are growing up with friends who have two moms or two dads. Parents from more traditional families are adapting to families of their offspring's playmates,  just as earlier generations of parents adapted to friends with single parents - or to friends of different ethnic backgrounds.

Gay adoption is here to stay - and will contribute to increasing public acceptance of LGBT equality more generally - as well as improving the chances that children will be placed with the best possible among all qualified potential parents.

(Adam Pertman is executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, a national nonprofit that is the pre-eminent research, policy and education organization in its field. He is also the author of Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution Is Transforming America.. Pertman sat down with dot429 to discuss LGBT adoption, explaining the progress and the trials and tribulations. Read the full interview at SDGLN)

Related articles

• A Conservative, Christian Case for Gay Adoption. (queering-the-church.com)
• Gay Adoption, Gay Marriage as Moral Obligations: Two Jewish Views (queering-the-church.com)
• Equality and inclusion advancing, worldwide. (queering-the-church.com)

Marriage Equality Safe in New Hampshire.

After the Republicans took control of the NH state assembly last November, there were some fears that they would attempt to repeal the marriage equality legislation which was enacted in 2009. However, the state GOP leadership has announced that this is not on their agenda "for this year". Same sex marriage is safe - for now. 

What about next year? Will the issue then appear on the agenda? Well, no. The GOP won't like to admit it, but in every jurisdiction where legal provision has been made for same sex marriage, the population has found that surprise- the sky has not fallen in, their own marriages have not been threatened, and life goes on as before - except for some businesses people, who find that they benefit from increased wedding and tourism customers. Living with the facts of gay marriage, and not the imaginary threats, quickly reduces the opposition.  

Even next year, the GOP are unlikely to take up the repeal of gay marriage. If they attempt it, they will find that not all their legislators will co-operate. An increasing number of Republicans are seeing that there is a conservative case for gay marriage,and against interfering in the bedrooms of citizens. I think we can safely say that marriage equality is safe in New Hampshire - period.

From the Washington Post

Gay marriage repeal not on NH GOP agenda this year

CONCORD, N.H. -- Republicans who control the New Hampshire House have decided that repealing the state's gay marriage law won't be on their agenda this year.

House Republican Leader D.J. Bettencourt confirmed to The Associated Press on Wednesday that jobs and the economy will be the top priorities on an agenda to be announced Thursday. Bettencourt says there's widespread agreement that social issues will have to take a back seat.

Gay marriage was enacted in 2009 when Democrats controlled the Legislature. Democratic Gov. John Lynch signed the law and has since said he would veto any repeal attempt.

Conservatives were hoping for enough votes for both a repeal and veto override after voters in November gave Republicans control of the Legislature. Lynch defeated a Republican challenger who opposed gay marriage, despite ads run by national groups criticizing his decision to sign the bill.

The Fall of Rome, Reality Based History – and Gay Adoption

The vocal opponents of family equality are fond of making sweeping statements (in flagrant disregard of the evidence) about how marriage has "always" been between one man and on woman, how the proponents of equality are "redefining" evidence, quite ignoring the ways in marriage has been constantly redefined in the past - not least by the Christian churches. A variation on the theme has been that homosexuality has destroyed great civilizations, such as that of Rome. Illinois state Rep. Ronald Stephens has repeated this claim, blaming "open homosexuality" for the fall of Rome.

In a fun, sane response in the Chicago Sun-Times, Neill Steinberg dismisses the claim, basing his response on, well, historical fact, not what he calls Stephens' talking points. His most important observation is that the best known extensive study of the fall of Rome, Edward Gibbons "Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire", concluded that Roman civilization collapsed not because of homosexuality, but because of - guess what? Christianity.

Would that be a argument to ban Christianity today, for fear that it could cause the collapse of modern Western civilization?

The point I want to make is not that Gibbons was either right or wrong, but to heartily endorse Steinberg's larger point, that grand claims about the lessons of history really ought to be checked against the facts. This is certainly true in the secular sphere, but also in religious discourse. The often -repeated Vatican claims of Catholic "constant and unchanging tradition" are a smokescreen, often used to used to hide the importance of recently introduced changes, as Martin Pendergast noted recently, writing about gradualism in Benedict's theology.

But today, I do not want to explore this theme of the Church's constantly changing tradition. Let's just enjoy, instead, Steinberg's thoroughly delightful response to rep Stephens' ignorance. Here are some extracts:

Gay Adoption, Gay Marriage as Moral Obligations: Two Jewish Views (and one Christian)

Here's a refreshing change: instead of the spurious, religious arguments against gay adoption and gay marriage, two more voices (this time, from Jewish perspectives)  speaking out on the positive faith-based reasons in favour of each.

In the first of these, at the Jerusalem Post, the orthodox Rabbi, television host and author of religious books on relationships Shmuley Boteach argues strongly in favour of gay adoption. Last month, he participated with Rosie O'Donnell in a New Jersey public discussion on the subject. In an article published before this event, he reflected on these issues, and especially on an aspect that I see as the most important of all. When a friend he spoke to expressed regret that Rosie's four adopted children would never have a father (the standard, theoretical argument against gay adoption), Rabbi Shmuley replied with the obvious and important, reality-based response:

that without Rosie they wouldn’t have a mother either.

Blessing Same Sex Unions in Toronto

There is no longer any doubt in my mind that widepread, formal recognition by Christian churches of same-sex unions, by liturgical rites in church, is on the way - one small step at a time.

One of these small steps is in the diocese of Toronto, where the local archbishop has given pastoral guidelines for blessing same sex unions. Technically, the impact will be only local, in his own archdiocese, and limited to a simple blessing, not full marriage. Effectively, though, this one of those small steps that makes subsequent strides that much easier. Civil marriage for same sex couples is already a well-established fact of life in Canada. Church blessings in Toronto will soon spread across the nation, just as civil marriage did after a purely local introduction. From country-wide blessing of civil unions, to blessing civil marriages, to full church weddings, will be easy steps. Sweden already has gay and lesbian church weddings in the Lutheran church, with which Anglicans and Episcopalians are in communion. Other Scandinavian churches will soon follow suit - as will Canadian Anglicans, just a little later.

Archbishop Johnson with Queen Elizabeth, 2010

Gay Marriage, UK: The Legal Challenge Begins

Rev Sharon Ferguson is a pastor with the Metropolitan Community Church in Camden, North London, a parish, she notes, is "noted for its peace and justice work".  It is part of the Gospel requirement that as Christians we should be combating injustice, and standing up for the oppressed. Rev Ferguson and her partner, Franka Strietzel, have now taken the first steps in a campaign on her own behalf, and that of others in lesbian or gay committed relationships - the campaign for full marriage equality;

"My whole life is about campaigning for equality and justice as a pastor in a parish that is known for its social justice work," she added.

"It's part of my daily life to challenge discrimination, but with this campaign what is really nice is that it's about love."

Israeli Gay adoption policy undergoes reform

The fundamental principle of "the best interests of the child" in adoption procedures demands that the child be placed with the best possible parents available. Israel is yet another country now recognising that the best available parents just might be a same-sex couple. Adoption regulations have already been modified to allow women to adopt the biological children of their female partners, so becoming recognized as co-parents. The regulations will now be modified further, to allow  men likewise to adopt the children of their male partners born to surrogate mothers.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450" caption="Israeli Dads, with twins"][/caption]

Gay Adoption Advances in Florida, Victoria – Worldwide.

Gay adoption has achieved three notable gains recently in Argentina and New South Wales (advancing in both by legislative action, both in the face of strong opposition by the Catholic Church), and in Mexico City, where the Constitutional Court ruled that the city’s law on gay marriage also permitted adoption by same sex couples. Less high profile cases which you may have missed also illustrate how queer families are gaining legal acceptance in many parts of the world – even in states like Florida, which has a constitutional ban on gay adoption.

Florida

Vanessa Alenier and Melanie Leon : Taking on the Florida Ban in Court

UK: Civil Marriage, Civil Partnership Converging?

Here in the UK, full recognition of gay marriage just came another step closer. This development yesterday took me totally by surprise:

From Ekklesia:

Parliament votes to recognise religious same-sex partnerships

In a dramatic development, the House of Lords has voted to allow the use of religious premises and religious language in same-sex partnerships.

Sitting yesterday evening (2 March), peers voted in favour of the proposal by 95 votes to 21, despite opposition from the government and several Church of England bishops.

The current law on same-sex civil partnerships prohibits religious elements. Campaigners point out that this means that whereas a mixed-sex couple can choose between a civil or religious wedding, a same-sex couple are denied this choice.

The proposal, which takes the form of an amendment to the Equality Bill, was put forward by Waheed Alli, who is a gay Muslim and Labour peer. The government have agreed to work with Alli to redraft the amendment, ensuring that the principle is incorporated into the Bill.

(Read More)

Here is some context:

• Under current UK law, one of the few important differences between civil partnerships and full civil marriage is that the former are prohibited from using religious premises or language. If this legislation takes effect, as now seems likely, the main remaining distinction will be just the name.
• When the Civil Partnership legislation first took effect, it was widely accepted as near marriage, with very little expressed discontent. In the years since, there have been growing calls for its extension to full marriage. With a general election due within months, mainstream political parties have been jostling to be seen as the most gay-friendly. The Conservatives, now leading in the polls, were once the most strongly opposed to gay rights, but now even some of their spokesmen are promising to introduce full recognition for same sex marriage
• Three different religious groups have asked for the right to perform religious same sex unions or marriages.
• The vote in the House of Lords is important symbolically, but has less direct impact. Legislation will get nowhere without the active support of the more important lower house, the House of Commons. Still, this puts pressure on government to act, and it seems they have agreed to accept and incorporate the principle into the final legislation

From the Independent:

The lifting of the ban, which still needs to be approved by the House of Commons, will now give religious venues the option of conducting civil partnerships – but it will not compel them to do so, as some traditionalists had feared.

Lord Alli denied the suggestion that religious communities would be forced to accept gay marriages.

“Religious freedom cannot begin and end with what one religion wants,” he said. “This amendment does not place an obligation on any religious organisation to host civil partnerships in their buildings. But there are many gay and lesbian couples who want to share their civil partnership with the congregations that they worship with. And there are a number of religious organisations that want to allow gay and lesbian couples to do exactly that.”

As elsewhere, full marriage equality is coming, it's just a matter of timing. Here, that timing may be quite soon.

Related articles

• Gay Marriage, UK: The Legal Challenge Begins (rooting-for-gay-marriage.blogspot.com)
• UK Queer Christians Support Marriage Equality Campaign. (queeringthechurch.wordpress.com)
• Straight Couple Denied Civil Partnership (gayrights.change.org)
• Yet more evidence that the State should get out of the marriage business (khanya.wordpress.com)
• 10 Modern Marriage & Civil Partnership Vows (socyberty.com)

Marriage Equality: Is Cyprus Next?

Around the world, the movement toward marriage equality is inexorable, however much Maggie Gallagher and her National organisation Against Marriage my claim that they have reversed the tide.   The disappointment in Maine, New York and New Jersey were stalls, not reverses.  Meanwhile, there have been a steady stream of less publicized advances elsewhere, and on other fronts. I the US, a series of court judgements have improved the prospects for both gay adoption and gay divorce.  Across the globe, there are many countries where the cause of gay marriage is moving ahead.  Cyprus just may be the next.  (Before writing this off as just a small country with limited significance, remember that Cyprus is a full member of the European Union.  Marriage Equality in Cyprus will increase the  pressure on the few remaining EU countries which have lagged behind, such as Greece and heavily Catholic Italy.)

From the Cyprus Mail:

Government to look at legalising gay marriage

THE GOVERNMENT will soon examine the issue of making same-sex marriages legal in Cyprus, Interior Ministry Permanent Secretary Lazaros Savvides has told the Sunday Mail.

With a UK general election due within months, the political issues around gay inclusion provide some fascinating contrasts with the US - and with our own recent history.  Perhaps the clearest example is that of gays in the military.  Last night, at a reception to mark the contribution of the LGBT community to British life, Prime Minister Gordon Brown "paid tribute" to gay and lesbian members of the British Defence Force.

He told guests at 10 Downing Street, including a number of gay service members, that there was a “debt of gratitude we can never fully repay”.  He said that the pride they felt was “nothing compared to the pride we feel in them”.

This year marks the tenth anniversary of the British military allowing out gay soldiers.

-Pink News

Brown  himself is  sounding remarkably like Obama the candidate in his "fierce advocate" mode, promising  that

"no one need walk the road to equality alone again.”

At the comparable reception last year, he slammed the Prop 8 ban on gay marriage in California.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown

Brown personally has an intriguing background here.

Gay Marriage Europe Wide: 10 Year Forecast

Hot on the heels of Gordon Brown's promises on full LGBT inclusion, we have a variation on the same theme from a less exalted government source:  the openly gay Europe minister, Chris Bryant. Just as interesting as the content of his remarks, is the context:  a specialist event in which officials from the Foreign office met with representatives of Stonewall, the UK's leading gay rights organization.

The openly gay MP, told us: "I never thought that Ireland would introduce legislation on this [gay marriage] for the reasons others have cited about religion, but it is happening. So I am optimistic. I think in the next 10 years we will see it across the whole of Europe.

In the headline remarks, Bryant forecast that there will be "gay marriage" right across Europe within 10 years.  One caveat is that he does not distinguish between full (civil) marriage and civil unions or civil partnerships.  On that basis, I believe he is being pessimistic:  marriage or unions are already routine across most of Western Europe (Italy is he major exception), and are already starting to spread into parts of Eastern Europe.

One of the interesting parts of the report for me, was the insight into what the British government is already doing to advance the cause of LGBT equality globally, through its offices around the world:

Gay Catholics protest communion refusal

A news snippet from the Netherlands.

I'm trying to find out more.  The bit that intrigues me, is that "minister" Luc Buyens decided, after talking to the bishop, "not to give anyone at the service communion", so as "not to discriminate"

From DutchNews

Monday 22 February 2010

A number of openly homosexual practising Catholics will attend a service at the St Jan basilica in Den Bosch next Sunday to directly challenge a bishop on giving communion to gay men and women.

The protest follows the refusal of minister Luc Buyens to give communion to an openly gay man who had been elected carnival prince in his home town of Reusel.

The carnival blessing is a traditional part of the festivities.

After talks with the bishop, Buyens decided not to give anyone at the service communion. 'I do not want to discriminate,' he was reported as saying.

UPDATE: Here is a fuller report, from Radio Netherlands Worldwide - but this has no reference to the non-discrimination.